When Getting Back into Routine Feels Overwhelming: Managing Anxiety During Times of Transition
There is something about September and October that can feel like a fresh start or a new year to some. Summer begins to wind down, the weather begins to get colder, vacations and time off come to an end, children return to school, work schedules ramp up, and many of us find ourselves trying to settle back into a more structured routine. For some people this can feel exciting or even motivating. For others, this can bring an unexpected increase in stress and anxiety. Even if you are looking forward to getting back into a routine, adjusting to change can often still feel overwhelming. Suddenly, there may be earlier mornings, busier calendars, increased responsibilities, and less flexibility and relaxation than there was during the summer months. There can also be an unspoken pressure that comes with this time of year, a feeling that it is time to “get back on track”. While routines can provide a sense of structure and predictability, getting back into one does not always happen overnight. Giving ourselves time to adjust, rather than expecting everything to immediately fall into place may make this transition feel much more manageable.
Why Can Changes in Routine Increase Anxiety?
Anxiety often has a way of showing up when things feel uncertain or outside of our control. Research has identified intolerance of uncertainty or difficulty coping with situations where we do not know exactly what to expect as an important factor associated with anxiety and worry (Einstein, 2014). Transitions naturally involve some level of uncertainty. Starting a new school year, returning to work after vacation, adjusting to a new schedule, or simply trying to figure out how everything is going to fit into the week can leave us feeling unsettled.
During these periods, our minds may start jumping ahead:
“How am I going to manage everything?”
“What if I fall behind?”
“How am I possibly going to find time for myself, friends and family?”
When our minds are focused on everything that could go wrong or everything we need to accomplish, even the smaller tasks can begin to feel overwhelming. Changes to our everyday habits may also play a role in how we feel. A large systematic review found an association between disruptions in daily routines and symptoms of anxiety, depression, and psychological distress (Liu et al., 2024). While this research examined routine disruption during the COVID-19 pandemic, it also highlighted the broader relationship between our everyday routines and psychological well-being.
The Pressure to “Get Back on Track”
Sometimes the routine itself is not the only source of stress. The expectations we place on ourselves can add another layer. The beginning of a new season can bring a long list of things we think we should be doing. Maybe you want to exercise more consistently, prepare meals ahead of time, go to bed earlier, be more productive at work, spend more time with family and friends, stay on top of household responsibilities all while still somehow finding some time to relax. This is where it can be helpful to pay attention to the way in which we are talking to ourselves.
Thoughts such as “I should be able to handle this”, “Everyone else seems to have it together”, or “I am already falling behind” can increase feelings of anxiety and make the transition feel even more difficult. In these situations, instead of asking, “How can I get everything under control?” it may be more helpful to ask yourself, “What do I actually need right now?”
Routine Does Not Have to Mean Perfection
A healthy routine should be just that, healthy. The routine should support your life, not become another source of pressure. When we try to change everything at once, it can be difficult to maintain. Missing one workout, ordering takeout instead of cooking, sleeping through an alarm, or having an unproductive day does not mean that you or your routine has failed. Instead, rather than creating an all or nothing plan, consider starting with something small. Maybe your focus the first week is getting to bed around the same time each night. Maybe it is preparing your lunch the night before work. Maybe it is to go for a short walk a few times throughout the week. These small changes may not feel as exciting as completely reinventing your routine, but they are often much more realistic and can be built upon.
There is also immense value in allowing flexibility in our lives. Psychological flexibility involves being able to adapt to changing circumstances while continuing to engage in behaviours that are connected to what matters most to us (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010). In other words, being flexible does not mean abandoning our goals. It means recognizing that there may be more than one way to move toward them.
Making the Transition Feel More Manageable
If getting back into routine has been increasing your anxiety, there are a few things you can try:
Start with what matters most. Instead of trying to change every area of your life at once, choose one or two things that would make the biggest difference right now. Once those begin to feel more natural, you can build from there.
Break things down. When your mind is thinking about the entire week, month, or semester at once, things can quickly feel overwhelming. Instead, try to bring your attention to what needs to happen today or tomorrow. A large task can often feel much more manageable when it is broken down into smaller steps.
Leave room for flexibility. Life does not always follow our plans. Meetings may run late, people get sick, traffic happens, energy levels fluctuate, and unexpected responsibilities may come up. A routine and mindset that has flexibility built into it is much easier to return to when life inevitably gets in the way.
Pay close attention to your self-talk. Notice when words such as “should”, “have to”, or “need to” begin showing up frequently. Then, ask yourself whether the expectations you are setting are realistic or whether they are adding unnecessary pressure.
Incorporate rest into your routine. Rest should not be something we earn after absolutely everything else is finished. If we wait until there is nothing left on our to-do list before allowing ourselves to slow down we may never get there. Time for rest, movement, connection, hobbies, and things we enjoy can be intentionally built into our schedules in order to recharge your battery.
Focus on what Matters to You
When life gets busy, it can be easy to move through our days simply checking things off a list. One helpful way to approach a new routine is to think about what you want that routine to support. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), for example, places an emphasis on identifying personal values and taking actions that align with them. It also encourages psychological flexibility rather than waiting for uncomfortable thoughts or emotions to disappear before moving forward.
Ask yourself: “What is important to me during this season of my life?”
Maybe you value being present with your family. Maybe you want to prioritize your physical health, friendships, education, career, or simply having more time to yourself. There is not a one-size-fits-all approach to this. Your routine does not have to look like anyone else’s. What works for one person, may not work for you and that is absolutely okay. The goal is not to create the “perfect” schedule. It is to create something that supports the life you actually want to be living.
Give Yourself Time to Adjust
Transitions take time. If fall has arrived and you do not feel completely organized, motivated, or ready to take everything on, you are certainly not alone in these feelings. Adjusting to a different pace can take a few weeks, and there may be some trial and error involved in figuring out what works for you. It is also worth remembering that feeling anxious during a period of change does not necessarily mean something is going wrong. Sometimes anxiety is simply our mind responding to uncertainty, increased demands, or a situation that feels unfamiliar. Rather than expecting yourself to immediately feel comfortable, consider allowing yourself to settle into the change gradually.
When It May Be Time to Reach Out
Some stress during periods of transition is common. However, anxiety may become more difficult to manage when it begins interfering with your sleep, relationships, work or school responsibilities, or the ability to enjoy everyday life. Therapy can provide a space to slow things down and explore what may be contributing to that anxiety. It can also help you recognize patterns in your thoughts and behaviours, develop coping strategies, and find ways of approaching your responsibilities in a manner that feels more manageable.
Vaughan Counselling and Psychotherapy offers individual, couples, child, and family counselling through a diverse team of Registered Psychotherapists, Registered Social workers, psychologists, and other mental health professionals. In-person appointments are available in Vaughan, Midtown Toronto, and Mississauga. Virtual therapy is available to clients across Ontario.
Meaghan is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) currently completing her practicum with Vaughan Counselling and Psychotherapy. She supports individuals experiencing anxiety, depression, stress, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, and life transitions. Her approach is warm, collaborative, and person-centred, and she draws from CBT, ACT, Solution-Focused Therapy, and mindfulness-based approaches based on each client’s needs, values, background, and goals. She is available for in-person appointments in Vaughan and Toronto, as well as virtual appointments across Ontario.
Getting back into routing does not mean getting everything right. There will be busy days, unexpected changes, and moments when things do not go according to plan. Instead of starving for the perfect routine, try creating one that is realistic, flexible, and supportive of what matters most to you. Most importantly please remember, you do not have to have everything figured out all at once.
References:
Einstein, D. A. (2014). Extension of the transdiagnostic model to focus on intolerance of uncertainty: A review of the literature and implications for treatment. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 21(3), 280–300. https://doi.org/10.1111/cpsp.12077
Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001
Liu, H., Tao, T. J., Chan, S. K., Ma, J. C., Lau, A. Y., Yeung, E. T., Hobfoll, S. E., & Hou, W. K. (2024). Daily routine disruptions and psychiatric symptoms amid COVID-19: A systematic review and meta-analysis of data from 0.9 million individuals in 32 countries. BMC Medicine, 22(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12916-024-03253-x
